A Writer's Heart

When I published my very first blog post my best friend Johnae expressed to me how she wanted me to write about how I found God. Here’s her exact words “Write about how you truly found God. Yes you knew God before but not as deep as you know him now.”

So now, here I am. Months later, finally writing about how I found God.

This is another very touchy topic for me because it just brings me back to how broken, hurt, lost, wounded, bitter, mean, unhappy, and just how unsatisfied I was with my life and just everything.

I look at my old self and look at who I’ve grown to be today and I just get emotional because God truly did a miracle wonder works with me. He healed me, made me whole and supplied me with eternal happiness, joy, peace and security.

How did I find GOD?????

I was simply BROKEN.

My heart was broken and my mind wasn’t anywhere to be found.

In other words, my brokenness lead me to God. I always knew that I needed God and that God was the one who made all things happen for me, my family and friends but I honestly didn’t take him serious. I was still serving two masters. I was still trying to be who God wanted me to be but was listening to the enemy and doing what he wanted me to do (Drinking to get drunk, smoking, fornicating before marriage, using foul language, being disrespectful, being very spiteful and unforgiving, just so much more.)  But God!

In 2015 I got sent back home from the USNAVY basic training due to my shoulder dislocating. I was honestly really devastated because I was really looking forward to being in the military around that time. But obviously God had other plans for me. I returned back home and I instantly started looking for a job.

2 months being back home, I received a job offer from walmart. Lawdddd, I couldn’t stand that job but it’s where I met the man who led me back into the Lord’s hands (unawaringly), so It’s important.

While working at walmart I ended up in a relationship that stressed me out so much. I didn’t deserve the treatment I received and he didn’t deserve to be with a woman who wasn’t sure who she was at the time either.

It was all apart of God’s plan to get me running, literally running back to him.

That relationship was the icing on the cake for me. It broke me down to the point where all I could cry out was “I need my God.”

I don’t know if any of you guys have ever been at that point in your life, but It was serious. I don’t want to get into details about the relationship because the past is the past but just know, it was toxic and the enemy had a plan but GOD also had a plan and of course God’s will was done!!

Around the time of dealing with the broken heart from the relationship, I was also dealing with family issues, issues from the past and I also lost my job around that time as well. I was at my lowest. I was broke and broken. I was angry and I was bitter. Then something in me told me to run to God. Go to church, because my parents always instilled in me that no matter what happens in my life, God is always there for me. So I visited Wayfaring Ministries and let me tell you, that’s where I found God for myself. God truly used my Apostle and Pastor Brunson to pour his word into me. But the question is how did I find God.

I prayed,  meditated on God’s word, cried a lot of tears, opened up to my spiritual parents, fasted, spent a lot of time alone in God’s presence, let go, forgave, went to church and to a lot of church events/empowerment classes, fed my spirit man and just chose to not rest in my brokenness anymore. I chose to be healed whole. I chose to be obedient to God’s word. I’ve heard so many testimonials from others who have been in my shoes and I seen what true healing and freedom looked like with my own two eyes. I was just really inspired by the people of God around me that I wanted better for myself. There’s just a whole lot I can write about in this one blog, I swear. But I’m going to try to keep it short.

I simply chose God and his plans. I got tired of the clubbing, the drinking, the smoking, fornicating before marriage and just the negativity honestly. I got tired of seeing the enemy in my driver’s seat. I wanted different. I desired freedom, healing, understanding, wisdom, true love, happiness, security, joy, peace, and just so much more. I knew that God would and could give that to me so I leaned to him. I yearned for him, his word and his ways. (and I still yearn for him till this day!!) I said YES to God. That’s all he wants from us. Is a simple yes Lord.

What are you desiring? 

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 (ESV)

So, are you tired of the enemy playing mind games with you? Are you tired of the normal? Are you tired of waking up and wondering why you even exist? Are you tired of being stressed out over things you can just pray and talk to God about? Are you tired of the enemy stealing your joy, peace, and happiness? Are you tired yet?

Just say Yes, to God.

He’s tugging and pulling on you. He yearns for you to be free and living your life happily. It’s not just a sunday thing either, it’s a lifestyle! Be for God because he’s truly the only one that’s for you! He loves you and wants nothing but the best for you♥

I’m going to end this with a question though.

Who is in your driver’s seat?

Thank you for reading. I pray this reaches whomever needs/needed to read it and I pray it serves its purpose. In Jesus name♥ Amen

If you have any questions, I am open to answer them! Please feel free to engage, answer questions, tell me your thoughts, like, share, anything.

I appreciate the support and the love!

Loveeee T♥